Ode to Uncle Joey

New Heights Men at New Heights Church
Message from: Alex Stuart

Hey Guys

My Uncle Joey died this morning. He was not really my Uncle by blood, but one of those guys that you grow so close to that you become family. Calling Uncle Joey a character would be like saying the SEC has had some decent football teams in recent years.

Our initial connection was duck hunting. I am a recovered Duckaholic and Uncle Joey helped feed my addiction in those years that I was under its influence.

One spiritual thing I learned during those years was that when you love something enough and are enthusiastic enough about it, other men want to join you. When I would repeat Uncle Joey and Cousin Robert and Mitch duck hunting stories, men would invariably tell me that they wanted to go with me next year.

Oh the stories. If you hunted with Uncle Joey, each trip was much more than getting a limit. It was a test of your manhood, your resources and how thick your skin was. Five beaver dams and innumerable stumps to get to the hole? Not even enough of a problem to register on the think about it meter. And oh my goodness, never, never admit physical discomfort. Uncle Joey could think of so many ways to ridicule a man who whined about physical discomfort that you just learned to suck it up and go.
No subject in your personal life was off limits either. Not making the grade at home or work, don’t worry, it will be discussed on the next duck hunt with improvement expected.

For all of his hard exterior, there was a noticeable soft side to Uncle Joey also. Like the time he saw some people driving a covered wagon pulled by mules down the shoulder of the 4 lane. Uncle Joey stopped and engaged them in a conversation that resulted in the mules and their owners spending two weeks camped out at Uncle Joey’s house. Or the fact if you didn’t call him or spend some time with him on a regular basis, he would act like he had forgotten your name the next time you did; just to show you his feelings were hurt.

For Uncle Joey, doing the right thing, especially by and with family, was not an option. I remember when his mom was dying, Uncle Joey had just retired from the Guard and was getting a bulldozer business going. He spent weeks sitting with his mom and watched the entire OJ Simpson trial in the process. He talked about that stupid trial until we thought we were going to have to tape his mouth shut. He could find more ways to make something fun than anyone else I have ever known. Always his first step was to not complain about the situation he was in. His attitude was you just do what you have to do and find something to enjoy about it at the time.

My wish for each of you men is that you get to experience a friend like Uncle Joey. Someone who pulls no punches when they don’t need to be pulled. Someone who challenges your manhood on a regular basis. Someone that you know loves you despite your obvious failings. Better yet, I hope and pray that you can be an Uncle Joey to other men. Lord knows we need some more of that.
Your Brother
Alex

The Occasional Atheist

Confession—sometimes I act like an atheist. 

Atheists are people who don’t believe there is a God.  They don’t think God is present and active and interacting with them in every circumstance.  Christians, on the other hand, believe that God is everywhere and he is interacting with them so that all things work together for his glory and their good.  I believe what other Christians believe, but there are times when I act like an atheist.  I forget that God is there, and my attitude and behavior reflects it. 

Usually this occurs when things don’t go as planned.  Something breaks down.  I can’t stay on schedule.  I get in the long line and everyone in front of me needs special assistance. Traffic is at a standstill.  Someone that I’m depending on doesn’t show up.  The computer goes down.  A mile from home I forget something and have to turn around and go back.   I hate it when stuff like that happens and my typical response does not honor Christ, much less take into account his presence and purpose.  It rarely occurs to me that Jesus has a plan that is much bigger than my agenda, and the breakdowns can actually be holy moments.

I’m not an atheist, mind you, I just act like one every now and then.  If a brother or sister were to stop me in the middle of my ungodly reactions and ask if I still believe that God is present and active I would immediately repent and adjust my attitude and behaviors.  But sometimes I forget.

In his book Respectable Sins Jerry Bridges identifies this type of reaction to circumstances as the sin of ungodliness.  Does that sound harsh?  What else would you call thoughts and deeds that do not acknowledge the presence of God? 

On a somewhat larger scale, ungodliness is manifested in categorizing spiritual things—as when a person is focused on Christ at church, but not at work; prays over a meal, but not a habit; loves his family, but not his enemy, etc.
 
The remedy is awareness.
 
Lord, teach us to remember you every moment of every day. 
 
 
Brian

Politics

Christ followers are often tempted to avoid the topic of politics because it can get pretty messy.  People can get passionate about their politics.  For many of us when we see blood vessels bulging and we feel the anger rising we just want to run the other way.  I’d much rather talk about community group. 

 

But to check out of the political process when we have the gift of participation is folly.  There is a ditch on the other side of the road as well.  To depend on the political process as the answer to every social ill is idolatry.  What is needed is cool-headed participation at whatever level of political involvement you sense God leading you to, without forgetting that your citizenship is in heaven and that ultimately you serve the King of kings and Lord of lords.

 

All that being said, here’s the Brian Bailey guide to political involvement:

 

Value Policy over Personality

I saw a news piece last week that shared how the presidential candidates were both trying to portray themselves as “regular guys” who look straight into the camera and may even take off the tie.  These ads are for people who may be swayed by seeing a candidate’s sleeves rolled up.  “He seems like a nice, outdoorsy, hard-working fellow.  He’s got my vote!”  How shallow is that?

 

Some time ago I decided I’d rather have a jerk who promotes policies consistent with righteousness than a misguided good person promoting unrighteous policies.  Of course, I’d rather have a good person with good policies, but that’s not always an option.  Policies, not personality, are what impact the lives of people.

 

Performance over Promises

I may be a bit cynical in this area, but what political candidates say they’ll do and what they actually do are often worlds apart.  Although they may be completely sincere when making campaign promises they always have to work with other people to actually get things done.  Those other people may not be on the same page and may block proposed legislation.  Also, believe it or not, candidates have been known to make promises they have no intention of keeping just to get votes.  I know--it’s hard to believe.

 

A better indicator of future performance is past performance.  What has the candidate stood for in the past?  How effective has he been in bringing people together?  How has he demonstrated effective leadership?  What causes has he effectively advanced?

 

Prayer over Passivity

The Bible commands us to get involved in politics.  In prayer God has invited us to participate with him in turning the hearts of kings.   Through intercessory prayer we have political influence far greater than the vote.  I’ve set an alarm on my phone to go off at 2:02pm each day.  In obedience to I Timothy 2:1-2 my alarm reminds me of Paul’s exhortation “that  requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone— for kings and all those in authority….”  Yep, I’m a political activist.

 

 

Brian

New Heights Men at New Heights Church Message from: Alex Hedgepeth Hey Men, I’m sitting here on the day after Labor Day wondering if the day off was worth the hassle that hits afterward. It’s been a rough morning. I take comfort knowing most/all of you have experienced the same kind of thing. Jesus said that in this world you will have trouble. Jesus, the master of understatement. Now, I know  the trouble we experience here is nothing compared to others in our world, such as a father in a third world country despairing about how he is going to feed his family, or families in war torn areas struggling to live out the day. The degree or severity of the trouble doesn’t really matter, what matters is the fact we all are going through things that concern us greatly, bother us, if you will. Things that move our minds off of the larger story and get us thinking about the little small stories that will mire us in a swamp of discouragement. A friend and I were fishing many years ago and he was relating to me how an old friend of his was letting the pressure of being an elementary school principal get to him. He was really worried about his friend and I was thinking, really????  An elementary school in the backwoods of Mississippi and the pressure cooker was on? Two weeks later that principal shot himself to death. If we stay in these small stories too long, they start becoming reality for us and then we are left, usually in small moments of clarity, wondering what happened to the abundant life promised to us in scripture. Why do you think so many people go on vacation and want to move to whatever tourist trap they just visited? It’s not an absence of stress there; they were just able to leave their small stories and stresses behind for a while. It seems like we have to be really stuck before we will talk to someone else and the more stuck we are, the higher up the help chain we go. We struggle through tough times in our marriage without consulting someone else, until one of us has an affair. Then we go see our pastor, or a counselor.  We hate our boss or coworker until our job performance stinks so bad that we are about to be fired, then we talk to someone to get it off our chest or get some advice on how to handle it. What is it about us that make us so reluctant to seek counsel from others? There are many reasons, so just take your pick, just don’t spend too much time trying to figure it out by yourself.   Proverbs tells us that the purposes of a man’s heart are like deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out (20:5). That man could be a friend, relative, co-worker, or, you could go to a counselor. In between the first two paragraphs of this note and the rest, I ran into Ryan Rana, the director of the Joshua Center and a good friend of mine. We actually had a few minutes to talk, and I related the story of my tough morning, and as always, he gave me some great wisdom which lightened the load on my heart tremendously. He then asked me a question about how I had parented my kids (my girls are 19 and 17 his are 9 and below). As I was answering his question, several times he said “really? I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who has experienced that with my kids”. So two men willing to bounce their lives off of each other finding comfort more in each other’s presence, knowledge, experience and compassion. So, men, I urge you, in the problem areas of your life, quit going it alone. Seek counsel. Don’t stop seeking it until you get it. Climb the help ladder until you find a “man of understanding”. Hey, try this one to satisfy your practical joker side. Go to a counselor before your life is in the ditch. Tell him that, no, my wife hasn’t left me, or no, I’m not about to lose my job, I just know that I’m not understanding why I am struggling with _______________ right now and wanted to see if you could shed some light on this. Then sit back and look at his face real close as he is freaked out by not having to get you out of the ditch first. I look forward to hearing about it. Have a great week men Alex

 

Always Talk to Strangers

I think it’s interesting to observe the way strangers interact with one another.  In our culture the unwritten rule is to ignore those around you, and keep your distance.  (Every man knows what a buffer urinal is).  However,  circumstances sometimes require some kind of polite response.  This is called social inattention.  It’s when we feel compelled to acknowledge the existence of another person, but we still want to avoid meaningful interaction.  So when someone sneezes we say “bless you”—that’s usually just a reflex response; we’re not really interceding for divine blessing upon them because they sneezed.  When someone holds the door we say “thank you.”  When it’s just the two of us passing one another in a hallway we say “how are you” hoping they’ll say “fine” and be on their way.  Then there’s always the “have a nice day” line, which really means “next.”  (When someone says to me “have a nice day” I always want to gruffly say “I’ve got other plans”—but I don’t).

 

But I recently discovered the value of pushing the envelope a little with strangers.  I was flying back from vacation in California (by way of Atlanta, of course) and found myself seated next to a guy who was flying to Little Rock for a business meeting.  Unlike other flying companions I’d had on the trip he didn’t plug in the ear phones, fix his eyes on the screen, and hang a “do not disturb” sign around his neck.  (That last part didn’t happen, but the message was clear).  This guy was willing to talk a little, so we made some small talk.  He asked me what I did for a living, and I told him I was a pastor.  Sometimes that confession immediately kills the conversation; other times it opens the door to go a little deeper.  This time it was the latter and we talked about church and stuff.  Eventually he mentioned how he and his wife had lost their 30 year old son a couple of years ago.  He didn’t want to talk much about his own grief, but when I asked if it would be okay if I prayed for him and his wife he accepted the offer with gratitude.  I could tell it meant a lot to him.

 

I’ve been reminded that being just a little bold and taking a little risk with strangers can yield good results.  I’m not talking about stepping onto an elevator and facing the crowd and loudly asking if everyone there knows Jesus;  but just doing things a little out of the ordinary often produces good fruit.  It requires….

 

                Readiness—sometimes you have to act fairly quickly or you’ll miss an opportunity.  The other day I had a chance to help a mom who was struggling with a child, a cart full of groceries and a lift gate that wouldn’t stay up—it was a very nice exchange and I could tell she was blessed.

                Initiative—we have to take the first step.  More often than not there will be a very positive response.

                Boldness—a willingness to dispense with social inattention and go just a little deeper.

 

 

Essentially we need to unlearn a rule our parents taught us and always talk to strangers.

 

 

Brian

 

 

Don't Jump!

A couple of weeks ago Leslie and I were vacationing in San Francisco and one day we walked across the Golden Gate Bridge.  The Bridge is a work of art.  Spanning the inlet from the Pacific Ocean to the San Francisco Bay it is often the thing that says “Welcome Home!” to those who have been away at sea.  But for many it is the end of the line in a much darker way.  The Golden Gate Bridge is the world's top suicide site. Since it opened on May 27, 1937, there have been an estimated 1,600 deaths in which the body was recovered, and many more unconfirmed.  37 people jumped to their death in 2011—the fourth highest total since the bridge opened.  An additional 100 people were stopped from jumping. In other words, every 2 1/2 days, someone went to the bridge planning to jump.  Amazingly, about 1 out of every 50 jumpers survives the 220 foot fall—some crippled for life, others with only minor injuries.

 

 

 

It occurs to me that following Jesus is very much like patrolling the Golden Gate Bridge.  We’re in the business of saving lives.  We hold up the truth; warning people against a course of action that is fatal and tragic, trying to talk them back from the edge.  Even when they jump we’re running a search and rescue operation to save who we can.

 

Many of the people we want to help are obviously in big trouble.  Their relationships are falling apart. They are depressed, lonely and despairing. They have a sense of desperation.  They know they’re in trouble, and because of that they are the most likely ones to call on the name of the Lord. 

 

But for many people we’re working with the fatal jump will not look like a tragedy at first glance.  They may have a relatively happy life, good relationships, healthy family, good job, etc.  They just don’t acknowledge Jesus as savior and lord of their life.  These are people in great peril.  Our task is to intervene with love and truth—to engage them with grace, and to pray that God will open their eyes to understand who Jesus is and what he has done.

 

I wonder if there may be someone reading this who is about to jump.  The problem with running away from God is that you are always running to a dead end.  Don’t jump! There is hope.  Make the call.

 

Brian

 

Give What You Want to Get

Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."  Luke 6:38

 

This passage is most often used in sermons about giving money.  If you want to experience financial blessing you must nurture a generous heart and an open hand.  Give generously and you will experience generosity in return.  It’s true!  Speak to anyone who has practiced generosity for any length of time and they will speak of God’s goodness to them.

 

But the principle of receiving an abundance of what you give to others applies to every area of life.

 

If you struggle with loneliness, consider what you can do to soothe other people’s loneliness.  Before you know it your life will be full of people who love you.  On the other hand—go chasing after lots of friends and people will run the other way!

 

If you desire to be influential—rather than trying to grab control, think about how to help others have positive influence in the world around them.  It won’t be long before you start hearing stories of how you impacted lives.

 

If you want people to listen to you, listen to them.  The time will come when you suddenly notice that people are asking for your input.

 

If you are lacking love, encouragement, affirmation, prayer support, money—you name it—don’t chase after it; don’t try to grab it and hold it tight; give it away and it will be given to you. A good measure, shaken together, pressed down and running over will be poured into your lap.  Approach people and circumstances with an attitude of generosity and you will experience abundance.

 

What do you need to give away today?

 

Brian