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Monday, July 7, 2014
Alex Stuart's invitation is awaiting your response
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Alex Stuart's invitation is awaiting your response
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Friday, June 27, 2014
Let's connect on LinkedIn
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Friday, April 18, 2014
Give it UP!
Happy Easter Men!
Sorry I have not been in touch lately. I have been working on some more comprehensive things for men and of course, there is work, family, hiking, facebook, exercise, well, you know.
I have been looking at what the journey to being a good man looks like and God started me in the book of Proverbs. Through that, I came to something I really want to share with you guys today and see what you think. Especially as we consider this weekend what Jesus did on his journey 2000 years ago.
The first thing that jumped out at me as I looked at Proverbs was God asking us to carefully consider who we hang out with and though the course of the book, He gives us quite a list of people to not hang out with (people lying in wait to spill innocent blood, for example). That made sense to me as I thought about the last 8 years of ministry I have been involved with, working with kids and adults coming from, hmmm how to say this, environments where people are on a first name basis with bail bondsmen. If these guys did not change whom they hung out with, they never became the man they wanted to be. When they did change, they were able to follow God and I was witness to both options.
So, yea, that makes sense. The more I thought and prayed about this, God brought another, deeper, more disturbing verse to my mind. Jesus, in Luke 14:26 talks about if you do not hate your father, mother, brother, sister, yes, even your own life, you cannot be his disciple. The thought occurred to me that this was an extension of all the Proverbs verses dealing with whom you hang with. If service to your family means you do not follow Jesus, then you need to give up the service to your family.
If only it was service to your family holding you back.
Most of the time it is an unhealthy desire to please someone who can't be pleased. An unfulfilled desire for a father's affirmation, a bitterness towards a mom or sibling you felt wronged by, or that you could never measure up to. The list of things that might be unhealthy in a family, which would keep you from following God, is endless.
Oh, and when I say follow God, I hope you know I am not referring to the popular definition of that in which you become a nice guy who reads his bible every day and attends his church and maybe even serves there in some capacity. Those are great things, but not necessarily following God into the hard areas of life where you MUST call on Him for guidance. Those things should lead you to a walk with God that involves tremendous risk and battle. Most of you yearn for a life like that, but those family things I talked about before are getting in your way.
The things you must give up to be able to follow God with courage and faith.
Your life.
When Jesus talks about the same thing in Matthew 10 when he talks about finding and losing your life. The text does not use the word for biological life (bios) here, but the word psyche meaning your soul, your personality, the things you are using to try to derive some "life" out of this world. He is not asking you to go kill your body, but to give up (there is that thought again) the things you are using to try to make life work for you. Approval from others, money, a search for comfort, work, you name it. Things that will not get you thrown in jail, but will keep you from following God.
So think about these things this Easter season and consider what Jesus gave up to come here and die on a cross for us. Think about His motivation to do that, which is His love for us.
Maybe, just maybe it will motivate us to take all of our junk to Him so we can follow Him into the adventure of your life that your great, great grandchildren will still be talking about.
Have a Great Easter Men!
Alex
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Oh Lord its Hard to be Humble
Hey Men,
Welcome to 2014, the year I get to live as a 50 year old. I'll let you know when I am crossing into geezerhood, but its not yet, not yet.
How I Learned a Lesson of Humility and Desire from the Sugar Bowl!
Sorry, you say, you didn't notice the humility there? It was. Watch. Months ago, Bob Stoops (oh, and I'm not really a fan of either team) said he was tired of the SEC propaganda machine. Then he gets the chance to play Alabama in a bowl game. I don't know what his preparation for that game was, but he had an excellent game plan, he had his players ready physically, mentally and emotionally. They WANTED this game. Alabama, with all of its fine athletes and coaches, just really didn't want it as bad.
There has to be a level of humility in that desire. Humility that says, I will have to work my tail off to succeed in this. Arrogance says "I got this". Humility says do your best and never quit trying. Arrogance says "Who needs to work hard?" Humility says I need to step into this situation. Fear says, its not going to go well, don't even try.
Now, for the desire part. We have all seen many sporting events where the underdog comes out like OU did and really takes it to the favorite. They have the passion, drive, game plan, camaraderie, you name it, it's all going their way. The favorite realizes they have been resting on their laurels and tries to get some passion going. And it never works. You can't generate that kind of passion on the spur of the moment. It has to come from a slow boil.
Humility that drives you to work hard, think well, go to others for help, that kind of humility stems from a long slow intense desire for _________________. You fill in the blank.
So when your resolution fails, where is your desire going to go? Is your false sense of humility going to say "I knew I couldn't do it anyway"? Or is your false sense of humility going to keep you from trying? That's not humility, that's fear.
Here's to a 2014 not lived in fear or a false sense of humility.
Your brother
Alex
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Nice Enough?
Hello Men,
Another good man bit the dust this week guys, and while the media is living it up on the wreckage his life is right now, we all need to stop and see where our own habits are leading us, then ask ourselves what kind of life is it that we want to live.
I have used this space in the past to encourage you, as a man, to step up, to speak up, show up. To stop beating around the "nice" bush and step into your life as it was meant to be. This week I read this put another way by, of course, a woman. It was a blog coming from Donald Miller's storyline website, which, by the way, if you haven't checked out yet, I urge you to do so posthaste.
In this blog, she relates that people knew her as "nice" in high school and for the ten years afterwards at which point a classmate related an incident where the classmate tripped on the stairs and the author's friends laughed at her, while the author stood by and did nothing.
That led to this excerpt from her blog:
But now, as I thought through the past ten years of my life, I realized being "nice" wasn't doing for me what I wanted it to do.
Being "nice" was preventing me from saying what I thought about things.
It prevented me from telling my friends that I thought laughing at someone for tripping on the stairs was rude (for fear of being too harsh or judgmental) and prevented me from telling the girl who tripped that I knew how she felt. I'd been laughed at, too.
I wouldn't want that girl to feel like I was singling her out, or overstepping my bounds.
I wouldn't want my friends to feel like I was rejecting them.
It prevented me, years later, from expressing political opinions or theological opinions or even opinions about where I wanted to eat dinner — which in turn prevented me from having authentic, meaningful relationships with people. In some cases, friends would beg me to say what I thought, but instead of being honest, I would mimic those around me, and then (of course) feel invisible.
When you can't tell the truth about yourself, you cease to exist as a person.
Being "nice" kept me from doing what I was made to do.
Trying to manage my "nice girl" image kept me trapped, working to control other's opinions of me, rather than doing what I knew was right. I couldn't send an e-mail or even a tweet without hours of deliberation. I stayed on the margins of my life, scared to get into the thick of things, terrified that I was going to hurt someone, or offend someone, or mess everything up.
I avoided jobs I wanted, parties I wished I could attend, and friendships I longed for, with the excuse that they could be the wrong job, wrong party, wrong relationship, or that I would make a mess of them.
If I didn't do anything, I couldn't do anything wrong. Right?
I'm starting to see how doing nothing is sometimes the worst thing you can do.
Well put, my friend, well put. That's not all. In my encouragement for men to step up, I have been accused of being a jerk and asking other men to be jerks. Well, maybe I have, but that's not my intention. This blog author addresses this by pointing out the difference between being nice and being kind:
For some, the words might be interchangeable. But for me, it helps to make a distinction.
. Niceness stays quiet. Kindness speaks up.
. Niceness is toxic. Kindness is healing.
. Niceness lies to keep the peace. Kindness knows the only way to make peace is to tell the truth.
Niceness holds back. Kindness moves forward with humility, gentleness and grace.
Two great truths.
When you can't tell the truth about yourself, you cease to exist as a person. (you are, at this point, a minion for the fallen voices of this world)
Kindness knows the only way to make peace is to tell the truth.
What courage and faith is needed to live like that.
I can promise you men, you will get a chance to lie about yourself before the day is out. You will get a chance to tell the truth in a sticky situation before the weekend is over. You will get a chance to be courageous on behalf of someone else before a week goes by. Take that as an opportunity from God to step up and show His kindness flowing through you. It will be a feeling you will want more of.
Here's to courageous kindness transforming the world around you.
Your Brother
Alex
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