Overcoming Sexual Brokenness

Overcoming Sexual Brokenness

 

Hardly a week goes by that I don’t talk to someone about their struggles with pornography.  Porn continues to feed a pandemic of immorality and sexual brokenness.  Sometimes it can be discouraging to think about how many men are affected by this.  Men who otherwise have a fairly high level of spiritual passion and moral integrity are taken out by internet porn.  Its ease of access has made this spiritual poison hard to resist.  Consequently a lot of men have sustained deep relational and spiritual wounds that affect their marriages, their relationships with women in general, and their relationship with Christ.  They’ve traded in relational intimacy for fantasy sex.

 

Usually lust is not the only thing that drives a man to porn.  Loneliness, idleness, depression, stress, anger—any of these can be temporarily soothed by the emotional narcotic of porn.  But like medicating with alcohol it creates more problems than it solves. 

 

As with every sin there is a way out and it is possible to gain victory.

 

One ministry that we have that is especially effective in helping men overcome sexual brokenness is More than Conquerors.  In a More than Conquerors group men are led week by week, step by step out of the maze of fear, hurt and shame into a healed, overcoming, “More-Than-Conqueror” lifestyle.

 

Testimonies of Guys who are currently in a More than Conquerors group:

 

I have never had a group provide such a tactile representation of God's grace than More Than Conquerors. Fear almost overwhelmed me when I was considering joining. I didn't want to get hurt by a church group again. These men have provided such an outpouring of love, grace and acceptance such that I have never known. By addressing the heart of the addictive cycle in a loving and condemnation-free way, More Than Conquerors has opened my heart to allow God to truly begin the restoration process.

 

This group is truly a testimony to how much God loves his children. I always thought the goal was to stop looking at porn, but God wants all of my heart. Through this group and the grace of God, he has been unveiling a web of lies, shame, guilt, condemnation, and strongholds in my heart and life. I had no idea there was this much healing or freedom to be had. Through this group God will truly transform you from one degree of glory to another.  Bible study and fellowship are great but this group is all about setting people free."

 

After years of trying to achieve sexual purity by my own will power, the group helped me see that by His grace, God wants me to follow His will but do it by His power with the help of a group of guys I can trust.

 

 

We are planning  to start a new More than Conquerors group on Tuesday evenings at The Warehouse.

 

More than Conquerors is a high-commitment group.  Plan for 2 ½ hours every week for nine months with homework.  Obviously, this is only for guys who are serious about freedom.

 

If you could use support and healing in this area of your life, please pray about attending.

Contact Tim Crowell at timcrowell@ymail.com for more info.

 

 

Brian

 

Saving Boys

For some time I’ve been burdened about the spiritual, emotional, intellectual and social condition of boys and young men.  We’re losing them.

 

Philip Zimbardo and Nikita Duncan have written a book entitled “The Demise of Guys: Why Boys Are Struggling And What We Can Do About It” in which they present some absolutely startling research: 

·         In 2011, young men’s SAT scores were the worst they had been in 40 years.

·         Even Hollywood has caught on: films like Failure to Launch, Knocked Up and Jackass mock the ineptitude of this generation.

·         Boys account for 70 percent of D’s and F’s given at school.

·         Research shows guys aren’t interested in being husbands, fathers or the head of the household.

·         Boys are four to five times more likely than girls to have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, according to the National Center for Education Statistics. Two-thirds of students in special education programs are guys.

·         The average boy spends 13 hours a week playing video games. The average girl spends 5. The average young American will spend 10,000 hours playing video games by age 21. That’s twice the time it takes to earn a bachelor’s degree.

·         The average high school boy spends two hours watching porn every week. Men can’t escape porn: 13,500 full-length commercial porn films were released in 2011, compared with 600 Hollywood films.

·         Researchers claim that internet pornography is hurting young boys’ ability to form meaningful romantic relationships because they objectify their partner.

·         It’s predicted that 60 percent of bachelor’s degrees will go to women by 2016.

 

What shall we do?  Solutions will not easy because the problem is endemic to our society.  It is “who we are” as a society.  Here are a few things that come to mind that can make a difference.

 

·         Pray—without the intervention of God we’re sunk.

·         Pray with boys—boys and young men need to hear older men talking to God on their behalf.  It demonstrates to them that we care and we value them.

·         Minimize or eliminate computer, phone, and electronic gaming.

·         Teach boys to read—a generation of illiterates will never be able to lead.

·         Teach boys to work hard—I’m not sure how to do it, I just know it needs to be done.  Be sure their work is meaningful and making a significant contribution to others. 

·         Put the man back in manners—boys need training in how to look people in the eye, engage in conversation and respect others--especially girls and women. 

·         If your son is spiritually healthy encourage him to reach out to boys who are not.  Often the only people who have access to at-risk boys are their peers.

 

Brian

 

 

Ode to Uncle Joey

New Heights Men at New Heights Church
Message from: Alex Stuart

Hey Guys

My Uncle Joey died this morning. He was not really my Uncle by blood, but one of those guys that you grow so close to that you become family. Calling Uncle Joey a character would be like saying the SEC has had some decent football teams in recent years.

Our initial connection was duck hunting. I am a recovered Duckaholic and Uncle Joey helped feed my addiction in those years that I was under its influence.

One spiritual thing I learned during those years was that when you love something enough and are enthusiastic enough about it, other men want to join you. When I would repeat Uncle Joey and Cousin Robert and Mitch duck hunting stories, men would invariably tell me that they wanted to go with me next year.

Oh the stories. If you hunted with Uncle Joey, each trip was much more than getting a limit. It was a test of your manhood, your resources and how thick your skin was. Five beaver dams and innumerable stumps to get to the hole? Not even enough of a problem to register on the think about it meter. And oh my goodness, never, never admit physical discomfort. Uncle Joey could think of so many ways to ridicule a man who whined about physical discomfort that you just learned to suck it up and go.
No subject in your personal life was off limits either. Not making the grade at home or work, don’t worry, it will be discussed on the next duck hunt with improvement expected.

For all of his hard exterior, there was a noticeable soft side to Uncle Joey also. Like the time he saw some people driving a covered wagon pulled by mules down the shoulder of the 4 lane. Uncle Joey stopped and engaged them in a conversation that resulted in the mules and their owners spending two weeks camped out at Uncle Joey’s house. Or the fact if you didn’t call him or spend some time with him on a regular basis, he would act like he had forgotten your name the next time you did; just to show you his feelings were hurt.

For Uncle Joey, doing the right thing, especially by and with family, was not an option. I remember when his mom was dying, Uncle Joey had just retired from the Guard and was getting a bulldozer business going. He spent weeks sitting with his mom and watched the entire OJ Simpson trial in the process. He talked about that stupid trial until we thought we were going to have to tape his mouth shut. He could find more ways to make something fun than anyone else I have ever known. Always his first step was to not complain about the situation he was in. His attitude was you just do what you have to do and find something to enjoy about it at the time.

My wish for each of you men is that you get to experience a friend like Uncle Joey. Someone who pulls no punches when they don’t need to be pulled. Someone who challenges your manhood on a regular basis. Someone that you know loves you despite your obvious failings. Better yet, I hope and pray that you can be an Uncle Joey to other men. Lord knows we need some more of that.
Your Brother
Alex