Offer What you Have

Hey Guys,

I hope you had a great Thanksgiving. It was my first year to experience a child coming home for the holidays, so that was different and great at the same time.

One of my families many hobbies are to watch movies together. The more meaningful the movie, the bigger the chance is that we will all go together to see it in the theater.

So, this weekend, we all had the urge to see Hugo. I had read that it will be a classic and it is in my book. So, my question to you is: what makes things a classic?

A classic has to reach down deep into our souls and touch something, or awaken something. Something we wish we could experience every day of our lives.

One of the most common themes of classics is that things are not always what they seem. That little sweet grandma is really an evil witch, there Hansel. Grandma sure has some big teeth (why do we pick on grandmas so much, btw?). That ring that is so plain holds the power over Middle Earth if it falls into the wrong hands. That horrible man that is such a skinflint was actually a great boy that got done wrong so many times that he lost all hope of a normal life and shut out all of his relationships except the one with money.

We recognize those kinds of stories because it’s the story we are living in. We know the power of the blows against our heart that cause us to give up on our dreams. We feel like we have so much more to offer than the world knows. If only…… seems to be a common cry of our hearts.

What does Christianity say to all of this? It’s the story of Christianity also. That snake in the garden with the great proposal? He’s out to destroy the human race.

That little boy? He’s a giant killer. That shepherd in need of a speech pathologist? He will lead millions on one of the greatest epic journeys of all time. That baby born out there with all the animals? He’s the savior of the world.

I received an email recently about a janitor at the Air Force Academy that was treated, well, like a janitor, like someone that didn’t matter as long as he did his job. Someone found out that he had won a medal of honor in WWII and everyone’s attitude towards him changed.

My question is this- why does someone have to do something grand before we treat them with the dignity and respect they deserve as being one of God’s creations? One of His beloved.

My next question is a little more hopeful. What is there about you that is not what it seems on the surface? What God-given gifts are you hiding? What would you love to share with everyone, but feel like no one wants it?

Here is something to try while we go into the holidays and lots of family gatherings. Look around and try to draw out those that don’t seem to be offering much. They may be like lots of us and are just waiting for an invitation or permission to be the person God made them to be.

Here’s to seeing the truth about yourself

Alex

 

Remember

Band of Brothers 6:00 Friday mornings, the warehouse

Opportunities to server abound at New Heights.

Small group leaders for adults and youth, children’s ministry workers, set up, take down crew, greeting, Potters House, and the list goes on and on.

If you feel like getting involved, pull someone aside and ask. You won’t have to ask many people before someone finds something for you to do.

 

How to Prevent Spiritual Insanity

Deut 8:10-18

When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the Lord your God for the good land he has given you. Be careful that you do not forget the Lord your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day.  Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, then your heart will become proud and you will forget the Lord your God…. You may say to yourself, "My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me." But remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth….

 

Rom 1:21-25

For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools … They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator — who is forever praised. Amen.

 

 

There are a lot of good reasons to give thanks.  For one thing, it is just the right thing to do, considering all that we have been given.  But it’s good to keep in mind that the failure to give thanks and to praise God sets you up for disaster.  When we fail to acknowledge God as the giver of every gift we become self-centered rather than God-centered.  We start thinking that we are the ones who have produced these good things in our lives, or we give credit to a false god—in other words we become spiritually insane.

 

What a blessing that as a nation we have a day set aside for thanksgiving.  What a great reminder that all the good things we enjoy are gifts from above.  Of course, we need more than one day to keep ourselves from going spiritually insane.  Our lives should be characterized by gratitude.  Our speech should always include thanksgiving—it’s what keep you from going crazy.

 

Have a great celebration tomorrow!

 

Brian

 

 

No Band of Brothers this Friday.  See you on Dec. 2

 

When Will You Quit Pornography?

That’s the question God asked me many years ago.  At the time I was choosing to ignore his voice and believe the lies of the enemy.

Lies like....

“It’s not hurting anyone”--(LIE.   It’s hurting you and your wife, or future wife, and your children.  Secrets kill.  Fantasy sex creates a messed up view of the real thing). 

“It’s just a private thing, it doesn’t affect me spiritually” —(LIE.  It undermines intimacy between you and God.  You know in your heart he condemns it).

“God created beauty to be enjoyed” —(LIE.  Very clever, but no, some beauty is not for you).

“When it really starts affecting my life I’ll quit” —(LIE.  The words of a slave who is trying to convince himself he’s free).

“This is the last time” —(LIE.  That feeling of revulsion and self-loathing ebbs away sooner than you think).

About eight and a half years ago God was gracious to me—my wife found me out.  The thing that brought me to repentance and has enabled me to stay away from porn for 8 ½ years was the wounded look in her eyes and the shock and confusion in the faces of our children.  Never again.

I’m troubled by the number of men who follow Christ in many areas of their life and yet do not renounce pornography, or can’t seem to break free.   Many men have struggled with it for so long that they can’t imagine life without it.   How can God bless that?

Let’s reject the justifications and half-hearted attempts to get control.  Some of you reading this may need to get rid of your computer and the data plan with your phone.  At least get some filtering or reporting software (by the way—if you know the password, the software is useless).

More importantly we need to address the boredom, loneliness, anger, depression, fear, woundedness etc. that drive us to use porn as an emotional narcotic.  “More than Conquerors” or “Celebrate Recovery”  or private counseling can help you in those areas.

If anyone reading this is ready to be free please get in touch.

Brian

 

Are you Free?

Are you Free?

Ahhhhh, my last Friday of Daylight savings time.  That arbitrary designation of the measurement of the passing of the sun. That government ruling that is slowly turning us into a nation of midnight loving zombies.  I firmly believe there are thousands of questions that you will never hear in heaven, and one of them is “what time is it?” Thank. You. God. Another will probably be “what’s he do for a living?”

We put lots of judgments on things and people every day. We tend to judge worth by money, looks, achievement, you name it. Osoela McCarty was a black woman in Hattisburg, MS, who, most of her life, did laundry for other people (for 78 years). You can imagine that outside of her family and customers, no one knew who she was or cared. Late in her life, she donated $150,000 to USM to, in her words, send someone’s kids to college. Instantly, she was in every newspaper, TV show, you name it for the achievement of saving this money and then selflessly giving it to an institution that had never recognized or affirmed her in any way.

Why did we respond to her gift in this way? I believe that deep down we are amazed at the kind of selflessness that says “I am free from your judgments. Free to live and love on my own terms, rather than believe the place the world wants to put me in”.

Men, we were born to live in a paradise where we walked with God and everything we needed to be a human came from Him. We walked away from that and ever since we have been comparing ourselves to others. I sincerely believe that most of the unmanly things we do are rooted in ourselves going to others to tell us who we are rather than God. It is the rare man indeed that is not captive to public opinion, or private opinion, for that matter but rather lives by God’s opinion. That, my friends, is freedom indeed. And for most of us, it doesn’t even compute. We don’t even question Daylight savings time, much less how we got like we are.

You want to do something courageous this weekend? Go spend some time alone with God and ask Him what He thinks about you. As a man. Then live from that, instead of the judgments the fallen voices of this world has put upon you.

Enjoy the journey, my friends

Alex

 

Press On

Philippians 3:12-14

I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

 

1 Corinthians 9:24-27

24 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 25 Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26 Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. 27 No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

 

 

A little over a year ago I took up bike riding.  The first day out we rode 8½ miles and I threw up at the end.  Last Saturday Stu and I rode 100 miles.  Here are a few observations about the experience and some spiritual parallels:

 

We tend to over-estimate what we can accomplish in the short term, and under-estimate what we can do over time.  That first time out I wasn’t really ready for 8½ miles—I never imagined at the time that a year later I would do 100.  Most of us can accomplish more for the kingdom of Christ than we think we can—it’ll just take longer than a week.  In order to do great things you have to do little things for a long time.

 

The body is an amazing thing.  Push it and ask it to do more and it rises to the challenge.  It gets stronger and works more efficiently, drops the fat and adds muscle.  Your spiritual man is the same way.  Challenge him to do greater things and the indwelling Holy Spirit makes him able.

 

Everything is better in community.  We need positive peer pressure and companionship.  Whether it’s riding bikes or winning the nations to Christ—you shouldn’t attempt it alone. 

 

Achieving the goal is the motivation.  Last Saturday at mile 93 our friend, Dan, was in agony.  He was riding with new shoes and his feet were killing him.  Did he finish the ride?  You bet!  No matter how much he was hurting, stopping with only 7 miles left was not an option.  I hope you can envision crossing the finish line into the joy of your Master, and that it is real to you.   Finish strong!

 

Press on.

 

 

Brian

 

What are you going to do?

Hey Guys,
I’m freshly returned from conducting a retreat with several other Dog Soldiers in Kansas City. To watch men connect with God and see God work out the things in their lives that are particular to each man…… it’s just stunning. Which leads me to my first topic today, and that is that next Tuesday morning, Oct. 4^th, this year’s group of Dog Soldiers will start. I have several great guys signed up and excited to get started, and yes there is room for several more. Let me know if you are interested by replying to this email.

Now far some thoughts. I was reading an article in National Geographic’s Adventure magazine titled “How to Survive Anything” and it was more about the mental condition that you need to be able to survive a disaster be it man-made, natural, or an adventure gone awry. Do the next right thing was some good advice, rather than worrying about anything else that can go wrong. Then I came to one that said to take control. The author pointed out that Illinois has 50% more tornados than Alabama, yet far fewer people died in those tornados than in Alabama. An Ivy league school did a study on this and came to the conclusion that it was the people in Alabama’s belief in God that did them in. That they believed that there was nothing they could do about anything, so they didn’t do what they could to protect themselves from a natural disaster like that and the people in Illinois would do what they could control.

Interesting. Where is the line between God’s sovereignty and our choice? Theologians will probably argue this one until the rapture, but I would like to offer some thoughts on the idea of choice.

If you will go and pull the word choice out of the Bible, you will see two interesting ideas. One, God chooses things, us, Jerusalem, His plan; and we get to choose who we will give our hearts to. God and his ways, or ways that are not of God. Most of what you see in the old testament of God getting ticked off is because of us choosing something besides Him. He is like a jealous lover in this regard.

Proverbs, in particular, asks us to choose wisdom, over and over again.

So, why this in an email to men? Because your choices are what makes you a man. Or not. Every day you will have choices of what to do with your time, temptation, your reactions, what to do with your money, loving your wife or not, the list goes on and on. Being a good man involves choosing the right, or God-led choice every time, regardless of the pain, or personal cost involved. This is where courage and faith go hand in hand.

Here's to knowing that God has our back in the choices He wants us to make.

Have a great week men.

Alex

Gumption

Gumption:  boldness of enterprise; initiative or aggressiveness; guts; spunk; get-up-and-go

John, Jordan and I were sitting in my office the other day thinking great thoughts (for this is what paid religious professionals do) and discussing the finer points of gumption.  As always, we came up with more questions than answers:  Is a person born with gumption or is gumptacity developed and learned? If a person is naturally gumptous can they teach others to be the same?  How is gumptocity measured?  If Paul  (himself a veritable gumptuoso) were writing today would gumption be listed as one of the fruits of the Spirit, or would it be a spiritual gift? Did Forrest Gump’s name inspire gumptiousness in him?

All these questions notwithstanding, we know that gumption is a good thing.  Gumption is what made Abraham leave his family and people to go to a land God would show him.  Gumption brought Moses before Pharaoh.  It compelled David to attack Goliath.  It helped Jeremiah boldly proclaim unpopular truth.  Gumption is what the early church prayed for when the foundations of their building shook.

It’s what made my friend Greg, an out-of-work business analyst, deliver pizza to make ends meet.  It’s what enables a widower to stay involved in church and other activities when he’d rather hold his wife’s picture and cry.  It’s the thing that makes a business owner keep moving when things are looking bad.  It’s what carries the college student through to graduation.  It enables parents to never stop praying for their children.  It moves a person from the couch across the finish line of a marathon.

Get gumption.

Gumptitiously Yours,
Brian

How to Go to Church

Going to church is kind of like CPR—if it works there’s no wrong way to do it.  However, there are methods which, if followed, will increase the effectiveness of CPR.  Those who save the most lives with CPR follow a certain procedure.  It’s the same with going to church—those who benefit the most and who have the most influence in the lives of others on Sunday morning approach the event with a great deal of intentionality and purpose.

Here are a few tips to maximize your Sunday morning worship with the body of Christ:

1.    Church starts Saturday night—when you’re asleep.  If you’re still going strong after midnight chances are your time with the church won’t be what it could be if you get a good night’s sleep.  Go to bed!!!

2.       Simple math saves day!  If church starts at 10:45, what time will Johnny have to wake up, shower, eat breakfast, get dressed, get the kids ready, get everyone in the car, make the drive, check the kids into children’s ministry, and ride the shuttle to the club to be there 5 minutes early?  This is not a difficult problem—a few simple calculations can change your life.

3.       Remember—it’s not about you.  The beautiful paradox is that when we make churchnot about us, we receive a greater blessing.  But if we enter into worship with a consumer mentality, and concerned that we get our needs met, we’re missing something.  Often on Sunday morning I see my friend, Richard, just standing in the gym looking around.  I know what he’s up to.  He’s talking to God, asking who it is he needs to connect with, to pray for, to encourage.  Richard enters worship with a heart to serve, not to be served.  Let’s all do that!

4.       Fully engage, and allow others to do the same.  When you walk through the doors, let your thoughts fly to the throne of Christ.  If someone is on the stage, focus and allow yourself to be led by them in worship.

We have precious little time together on Sunday mornings.  Let’s make every minute count.

Brian

Country Music

Preaching Country Music

I was listening to a newer country song the other day that was talking about the voices that the singer hears in his head all the time. Words from his grandfather to not drink too much, Mom telling him to tithe, and other significant people in his past and the advice that they gave him all the time.

So, my question to you is what voices do you hear in your head? It’s all well and great to get nostalgic about things you remember loved ones telling you, but where do those OTHER voices come from? The ones that tell you that you are dumb, an idiot, a screw up? Where do they come from and what do you do with the message of those voices? You really need an answer to those questions in your life, if you intend on being the man you want to be.

Rom. 8:1 tells us that there is no commendation for those who are in Christ. So, the voice of God is never condemning. If you hear a voice telling you how sorry you are, that’s not God. Which leads me to another new country song that I love by Miranda Lambert.

The chorus goes like this:

'Cause I heard Jesus, He drank wine / And I bet we'd get along just fine / He could calm a storm and heal the blind / And I bet He'd understand a heart like mine /

I just love the thought of there not being anything Jesus can’t accomplish and the inner workings of my being aren’t any surprise or problem for Him! He understands. Don’t believe me, just ask Him. Ask Him which of those voices are His and what you need to do about it.

Strength for the Battle to you guys!

Alex

Arrows in Flight

Psalms 127:3-4
Sons are a heritage from the Lord,
children a reward from him.
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are sons born in one's youth.

Last week Leslie and I turned the page and began another chapter in life.  We are now in the “empty nest” stage of life.  The last two kids moved out in the same week.  In a sense we are excited about what lies ahead.  We expect it to be a time of productivity in our work and a lot more flexibility in our free time.  We expect it to be a “we-haven’t-lost-our-children-we’ve-gained-a-bathroom” kind of experience.  I know there will be a lot of positives in this stage.

At the same time I can’t help but wonder how I’ve done as a dad.  Are they ready?  Can they handle independence?  Will they live unselfishly?  Will they continue to grow in Christ?  Will they be a blessing to those around them?

As I reflect on the past 23 years and 5 months of child-rearing, I know there are things I could have done better as a dad.  But something Jim said in a talk a couple of months ago has given me great comfort and hope—“Prayer trumps bad parenting!”  If there is anything that Leslie and I have done correctly, it is that we have been consistent in praying for and with our kids.  In the past week our intercession for the kids has only intensified.

The arrows are loosed and are in flight.  Will they hit the target?  Not if it all depends on my skills as a parent.  But I am confident that he who began a good work in them will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6).

A Poser, Me.....????

Hey men,
So a few weeks ago, I gave you a story from John Shore about a man posing. Posing, you might have asked, "what is that and how does it pertain to me?” “ I don’t keep my knowledge sources from my son.” Well, posing is just a term for the things we do to cover up our insecurities, doubts, and fears. Oh yes, fears. The original poser? Adam. “I heard your voice and I was afraid” (remember that was right after he didn’t kill the snake in the garden).
So, you think you aren’t scared of anything? I did for years, and if you looked at my life you would have thought maybe not. But the truth was that there were LOTS of situations that I avoided just because I wasn’t sure how they would turn out. Posers (us) usually only fight battles they (we) know they (we) can win, and when they (we) get into one that they (we) are not sure of, they (we) usually do much damage to their (our) heart and the hearts of others around them (us).
Where does it come from? Adam? Our sinful nature? Part of modern religion would like for you to believe that it is our fallen nature and that there is not much you can do about it (you know, the whole man is depraved thing). My experience has been otherwise, though our nature does have something to do with it. Most of our posing has its roots in our getting our heart broken at some point in our life. Unmet expectations or awful actions of our parents, friends, authority figures (all of which are posers too, you know), all have an effect on our hearts and lead us into protective actions and we call that posing. It can go so far and so deep that we think it is our God-given personality. Really??? God would give us something we hate about ourselves? No wonder He gets such a bad rap in this world.
So what does Jesus have to say about this?

I have come to heal the broken hearted
And set the captive free.

When Jesus announced His mission on this earth, that is the scripture he used. Out of all the messianic prophecies He could have chosen, He used that one. Is it true then, can you be whole-hearted? Can you be the man you have always wanted to be? Strong, faithful, loving, respected? Can your wife be grateful for how well you love her? Can your kids be radiant with affirmation etc, etc? You bet.
Well, I’m ready to sign on the dotted line, close the deal, what do I need to do?
It’s pretty easy, actually, it just requires child like faith that God is really for you, that scripture is true, there is no condemnation for those in Christ, and then to take your hearts deep thirst for affirmation to Jesus, instead of other people (or wherever you take it to, that just happens to be one of our biggest fears). To be free of the fear of what others think, now that’s freedom indeed.

Here’s to the Real you!
Alex

You may already be a hero

A couple of weeks ago Leslie and I met an interesting fellow by the name of Doug.  Doug runs a bed and breakfast on the Katy Trail.  He is a very positive and outgoing fellow---super friendly, a great encourager, and someone who places a high value on friendship and living life to the fullest.

Doug shared a story with us about how several years ago he was almost killed on a Dallas freeway.  It was not the way that most people are almost killed on Dallas freeways—he was the random target of freeway sniper!  As he was driving along a hole suddenly appeared in his front windshield, the passenger side window had shattered, and he was covered with blood because of the flying glass.  The sniper’s bullet had entered by the side window and went through the windshield, missing Doug by a fraction of an inch.

Doug said that he had always felt that God had some special plan for him, and after the sniper incident that sense of destiny intensified.  He used to fantasize about what his great purpose would be.  He pictured himself running to the rescue and saving the life of a child, or some similar heroic deed.  Somehow he would be in the right place at the right time and throwing caution to the wind in the face of great danger with only seconds to spare he would save the day.

However, as Doug has grown older and developed a more mature view of life he realizes that heroic deeds and high purposes may be accomplished in very quiet, unassuming ways.  A kind word to a stranger may turn the tide of depression.  A prayer for a friend may be the thing that changes the course of his life.  A small service rendered with a great attitude may become the door of great blessing in another person’s life—and you may never know it.

Our words and actions can have profound influence that we may never see.  The smallest words and actions can have world-changing impact.  Let us speak and act with that in mind.  Who knows?  You may save a life today, and never know it until you stand before Christ and receive your reward.

Brian

Whats Your Poser?

Hey Guys,
I have wanted to post something about our “posing” here for awhile, but it’s really hard to do that without being viewed as judgmental (or BEING judgemental for that matter). Truth be known, we all do it. Oh yea, for those not familiar with the term, posing can be defined as what we offer the world that we think will make others think more highly of us than we do ourselves; at least that’s my definition. If we talk incessantly, spout off our knowledge; control others through manipulation or even violence, you know, all those things we hate about ourselves, and sometimes think we are powerless to change. So, to avoid appearing judgmental, and to further explain what I mean about posing, I’m going to let John Shore relate a story for me. John is a brilliant writer, though he tends to get way out there theologically, he hits some gold mines like this occasionally.

Stayed tuned at the end for some dove hunt info.

From John Shore:
The other day I went to the San Diego Zoo (yay!), because if you can’t stare at animals while they’re wondering what went wrong with their lives, what good are they?

I was standing alone, beholding the Malayan sun bears, when a father and son came up to the rail beside me. The boy was maybe seven; his father, in belted shorts, tucked-in printed T-shirt, and baseball cap, certainly dressed like he was. But whatever. I was there to stare at the animals in the pens.
The boy pointed at the lolling bears, and asked his dad what kind they were.

“That’s the Helarctos malayanus,” the man pronounced. He went on to give a considerable dissertation on what sun bears eat, where they live, how long they live, how much they typically weigh, and how you could tell the males from the females. What luck for me: that guy really knew his bears! Throughout his talk I kept my eyes on the bears, the better to absorb his information.

Toward the end of his Malayan Sun Bears 101, I looked over at the professor. That guy didn’t know anything more about bears than I do. He was reading from the informative placard the good people at the San Diego Zoo put before every animal display, in case the animal’s hiding and you feel like doing a little reading. And he was trying to hide that he was doing that; he was sneaking his looks at the placard. He had actually positioned his body to block the boy from knowing the placard was there at all.

This faux-yogi of bears was trying to trick his kid (and also me, I guess; he wasn’t exactly whispering) into thinking that he just happened to be the world’s leading expert on Malayan sun bears.

Oh, wretched charlatan!

Then again, what man hasn’t done that? That’s what all men do, all the time. It’s like one of the testicles of every man in the world is named Know, and the other Everything. Once those bad boys drop, every guy is instantly committed to the idea of being Fully Knowledgeable about everything.

Oh, wretched burden!

It really does bite Malayan sun bear booty. Men feel that they must be … well, perfect beings, basically—or they fail. Part of the emotional burden men carry is the pervasive, ever-present conviction that being a man means they’re supposed to:

1.Know everything
2.Be like a magnet to women
3.Be in complete control of their emotions
4.Make a ton of money
5.Be exceptionally wise
6.Be naturally athletic
7.Have everything always go exactly as they planned
8.Scoff at physical pain
9.Know all about cars (and machines in general)
10.Be able to talk with animals
(Well, maybe not talk with animals. But I certainly expect dogs to instinctively obey me, and horses to be compelled by the power of my animal magnetism to do my bidding. And if I were honest, I’d have to admit that I would expect any wolf I came across in the wild to right away show its acquiescence to my domination by whimpering and lowering its head. But I don’t expect to chat with gophers or rats about the weather, or anything like that. I’m not stupid.)

Anyway, this drive to be impenetrably perfect is the reason that on average men die four years sooner than women. They die from the stress of having to be someone they can’t possibly be.

Enough, I say! It’s time that we men relieved ourselves in the bushes of having to be right all the time. That God made us in his image doesn’t mean we’re supposed to be just like God. We’re supposed to be like, well, us. Ignorance, incompetence, and all.


How much better would it have been if that father had said to his son, “I have no idea what kind of bears those are. Let’s see what this sign says.”? And then, side-by-side, his arm around his boy’s shoulders, the two of them, together, could have begun to learn.

from Alex again: Is the term posing more clear now?

The Apple doesn't fall far

Greetings from my beach view!
We are taking a few days of vacation after Tatum's National volleyball tournament in Port St. Joe Fl.
I wanted to relate a couple of stories, one from several years ago and one from this tournament that show how powerful your influence as a Dad goes. After ten years of focusing on ministry to men, I still haven't seen any one thing that has a bigger impact of a person's life than their Dad.
The first story happened when i was coaching my girls in softball. We played in an all too typical 9-12 yr old league of screaming parents and coaches, some worse than others. My commitment was that our team was going to learn the fundamentals well and have a good time without all the screaming. One night we played a team that the coach was over the top screaming at his players. In the handshaking line after the game, I calmly told him I didn't appreciate his screaming, at which point he started screaming at me, which I told him was fine, I could handle it better than those girls. All the parents told me afterwards that it was no use, he was like that all the time, and I said, i'm sure he is, no one wants to confront someone like that, so they just keep on screaming.
Did he calm down, yes, it was noticeably better the rest of the year.
So, at Tatum's tournament this past weekend, we were playing a team from Kansas City that NOBODY likes. Well, it didn't take long to figure out why as one of the Dads was standing at the net screaming his head off. Towards the end of the match, i noticed Tatum giving him the stink eye. At the end of the match, Tatum went to him and calmly but firmly told him she did not appreciate him yelling at her friends (evidently he was not restraining his comments to one side of the net), the poser then tried to justify himself but Tatum walked off. His poor daughter came up later to try to apologize for him saying that he yells all the time. Well, according to the team from Omaha that played them the next day, he didn't say a word during their match.
I wish that all the things I have taught my daughters, or like this, that they caught from me, were this positive, but sadly they have caught a few things that are not. I wasn't even trying to teach anyone anything when I confronted that coach, but, I obviously did.
You are too, weather you are trying to or not.
Heres to being the man Jesus wants you to be, may it be passed on down.
Alex

Upcoming:
Band of Brothers, Friday, 6:15 am. Warehouse. Great chance to get to know some great guys better and be prayed for and pray for others.

Labor Day weekend is the start of dove season. Anyone have a line on a good place some guys from New Heights could go? Or a place to fix a field?

Line from movie we watched last night: I hate to know I had a chance to make myself a better person and didn't take it.

A Few Words about Few Words

I’ve always admired two kinds of people—those who speak well, and those who don’t speak much.  I appreciate the former and am in awe of the latter.    I realize that sometimes it’s a personality type—some folks are just naturally quiet.  (May their tribe increase!)  But blessed is the man who has disciplined himself in the grace of brevity.

There are many warnings in the scriptures against talking too much:

James 1:26
If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.

Eccl 5:3
As a dream comes when there are many cares,
so the speech of a fool when there are many words.

Matt 6:7
And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because oftheir many words.

Prov 10:8
The wise in heart accept commands,
but a chattering fool comes to ruin.

Prov 15:2
 The tongue of the wise commends knowledge,
but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.

Prov 17:28
Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent,
and discerning if he holds his tongue.

Prov 10:19
When words are many, sin is not absent,
but he who holds his tongue is wise.


Better sign off.
Brian

Seize the Day

Hello Guys,

Treasure this time in your life kids, while you still have your choices.

Your 20's go by in a blur.

Your 30's you get a little bald, grow a pot-belly

Your 40's one of your old girl friends becomes a grandmother,

Your 50's you'll have a surgery, you'll call it a procedure, but it's a surgery

Your 60's you move to Ft. Lauderdale, eat breakfast in the afternoon, dinner, the night before, and wander the malls in search of the ultimate soft yogurt; wondering why the kids don't call.

Your 70's you have a heart attack, and in your 80's you wind up babbling to a Jamaican nurse that your wife hates, but you call mother. Any questions?

Billy Crystal, from City Slickers.

I have always been known as one that tries to squeeze as much life out of each day as I can, and for a lot of my adult life, that took on some pretty selfish forms. Just how many ducks can you kill in a season, seemed to be a common theme, as I hunted sometimes in four different states in one year. In my 30's the most wonderful thing happened when I became a parent, and life was not just about me anymore.

I started serving in the churches I attended, and eventually went into full time ministry. Which, I promise, is not a guarantee that you will not be selfish anymore.

I guess, since I am old enough now to have seen how some life choices have played out by people I know, I am more motivated than ever for my life to count for something. To end my days wandering the mall is a fate worse than death. Heck, just about any day wandering the mall is a bad day for that matter. But to get to the end of those days and not have made a positive impact on someone.....

I spent several years trying how to figure out how to do this, and what I finally came up with is to be the man God made me to be, and let God take care of the rest. That takes the pressure off, I promise, but it's not quite as easy as it sounds. Have you ever noticed how hard it is for people to follow their dreams? The stuff that God has put deep in your hearts to fulfill. The stuff that you think everyone will think you are crazy if you even try. Our enemy, I promise, brings out the big guns whenever a man gets close to pursuing his dreams.

One of the stumbling blocks that men have in getting started pursuing their dreams is wondering if they are from God or not, because, quite frankly, most dreams don't involve going into full time “ministry”, and that’s ok, God calls us to do lots of different kinds of things. If we were all supposed to be clones of each other, we would all have the same fingerprint.

Here is a couple of good, but for sure not all, the filters you can use for a test. One, do you absolutely love doing it? Does the effort of whatever it is seem like you are really in your groove? Most people's gifting comes so easy to them that they think anyone can do it.

Then, two, will anyone else be affected by what you do? Will their hearts be stirred, will jobs be created, will your children respect you for taking a chance? If so, there is a great chance this is from God.

One line from Seize the Day from Carolyn Arends (great song btw)

Well one thing I've noticed, wherever I wander Everyone's got a dream he can follow or squander You can do what you will with the days you are given I'm trying to spend mine on the business of living So I'm singing my songs off of any old stage You can laugh if you want, I'll still say Seize the day, seize whatever you can 'Cause life slips away just like hourglass sand Seize the day, pray for grace from God's hand Then nothing will stand in your way Seize the day Later guys, Ok, don't forget, Band of Brothers Friday morning at 6:15. Dog Soliders will start again in October. Check out the Man Minute, by Jason Cruise who is with the OUtdoor Ministry Network. I have been subscribing to him for a year now and have really enjoyed him every monday. Thats about all the men's stuff that going on right now.

Whats that smell?

Hey Guys,

The author John Eldredge has touched many men since 2000 with the book, Wild at Heart. Early on in it, he asks the question, if in Genesis, it says that God made men in the image of God, male and female He made them, then how do we bear the image of God as a man?

He then says to go through scripture and look at what about God appeals to men? Something that looks more like a man than a woman, and he comes to the conclusion that men bear the image of God in their strength. In their ability to come through.

I have taught this for several years now and I struggle to get men to understand that I'm not talking about how much you can bench press or some other similar feat of physical strength.

Well, this weekend I was rereading a Donald Miller book and I came across a section that further explains this.

Donald was in a coffee shop (at a point in his life that he REALLY needed some maturity) with some friends and complaining about the reality of life. How reality stinks. The owner of the coffee shop, a very successful Portland businessman, replied that “Life is like a fine wine, it cannot be appreciated by children”.

Donald was later grateful for the sting that came with this quote, and the maturity moment that it provided (more about Donald's story can be found in a fascinating book “To own a Dragon” about him growing up without a Father).

That kind of strength, not only to go through each day, but to savor each day like a fine wine, that is what comes of following God in the adventure He has for each of us, of knowing that you are made to follow God and to expect a wild ride (He's not a tame lion, you know).

So, if reality is stinking for you these days, ask yourself where are you not following God? What looks risky that you are not entering into these days?

Heres to enjoying the adventure

Alex

Friday Morning 6:15 Band of Brothers at the warehouse.

I will start recruiting for this years class of Dog Soldiers soon. If you are interested, let me know.

Lots to do in Joplin. Contact Ryan McLain if you want to take a group up there, he has some contacts.

No Plan B

So I’m sitting here in the hospital as my wife recovers from surgery.  When we learned that her thyroid gland had a “suspicious lump” on it we began to pray and asked others to pray.  (By the way—thank you!)  When I pray I usually just go for broke and ask God to work a miracle.  In this case I was praying that God would miraculously dissolve the lump and that the surgeon would not need to cut on my wife.  But as I prayed I also thanked God for plan B—the things that God uses to heal a lot of people—skilled surgeons, advance medical technology, and good medicines.  In this case God used plan B.  Half her thyroid is gone, no cancer detected at this time, and good drugs are hard at work—thank God for plan B!

But it occurs to me that God himself doesn’t have the same luxury.  He sent his son to die in payment of our sins.  He rose again, ascended back to the Father and gave the Holy Spirit to empower believers to be His witnesses.  He has entrusted us with the task of making disciples ofall nations—no plan B.  If we don’t do it, it doesn’t get done.  Such is God’s faith in us.  He’ll do his part and he knows that because of his power that is at work within us, His holy purposes will be achieved.  God will work through our feeble efforts.  Though we bumble and stumble along the work will be done.

It has to happen.  There’s no plan B.

Brian

Stirring

Good Morning Gentlemen,
Wow, I’ve got so much on my mind this morning.
First, I can’t pass up talking about Mama Carmen yesterday. She was amazing and to be proceeded by Mel Murray made it even crazier. Why are we stirred by these two families? What made us give Mama Carmen a standing ovation just for walking on the stage? That stirring is put there by God.
Sacrifice. These two families have given up what most people kill themselves chasing after to help others. They may not ever know if they made a difference in the lives of those they are helping. They are just called to help.
Let’s go back a minute to how we were stirred yesterday. The stirring reminds us that God speaks to us through our hearts and our desires. Ignore stirrings like this for very long and your heart dies and then you becomes one of those people that are convinced that God no longer speaks, even though scripture tells us differently.
Second, how painfully obvious it is how much we have been deceived by the modern age of reason and intellect. Mama Carmen experiences God in mighty ways because she NEEDS Him, not because she knows a lot about Him, or can quote all of the Minor Prophets. She is in the middle of helping the hurting and God shows up regularly. Especially after she cries out for His help, when she can’t see how kids are going to eat or sleep. If anyone of us ran our business or ministry like that we would be fired pronto. So, for those guys that just have to have a formula:
Needing God +Crying out to God= Experiencing God

Have you ever noticed how ridiculous guys look in pictures when they are just standing there? You have to put a man in motion to capture the essence of a man. Madison Avenue knows this, when they want to sell a man something (without using sex) then they put men in motion. So, let’s put these two ideas together, stirring and in motion. Is anyone stirred to go to Joplin and help clean up? Anyone feel stirred to lead a group of men to do this? OK, you feel stirred, but you doubt your ability. Fine, just go with it when you doubt your ability, then you cry out to God. If God can come through for Mama Carmen, He can do it for you. Just ask.
Let me know about Joplin. We need to get a group up there this weekend.

Alex

Keeping

I’ve recently developed a new appreciation of the concept of keeping something.  Usually when we think about keeping the main idea is that we are continuing certain actions or attitudes—“I’m going to keep this dollar” means I have a dollar in hand and I’m not going to give it up.  “He keeps calling me”  means someone has been calling me and he won’t stop.  So the idea of continuance is a big part of keeping something.

There is also a deeper layer of meaning in the concept of keeping.  The idea of attentiveness, engagement, good management, and nurturing is connected with keeping.  Housekeeping, for example, suggests that you not only own a house but you are managing a household.   Or take my favorite hobby, beekeeping.  Beekeepers are different from bee-havers.  A person may own some hives and not be a beekeeper.  A beekeeper studies bees and manages the hives in such a way that the bees are healthy and the honey production is maximized—it can be work!

When the idea of attentiveness and engagement is applied to the concept of keeping a lot a common phrases take on a richer meaning.  Are you a person who keeps his word?  Are youkeeping your promises?  Do you keep the faith?

Jesus had a special promise for keepers:  John 8:51—“I tell you the truth, if anyone keeps my word, he will never see death.”  Keeping the word of Christ implies engagement, attentiveness, careful understanding and application.  Let’s commit to being Word-keepers.

May the Lord bless you, and keep you.

Brian

Life

He that will lose his life, the same will save it.

What the heck is Jesus talking about here? I have to die to live? That makes no sense. Well, since this is Jesus, maybe He is on to something. Let’s see.
First, what kind of life are you arranging for yourself? What role have you cast yourself in? Is it the role in the story that God has for you? Most of us fall way short of His plan for us. Not necessarily because of our sin, though that can be part of it, but because we really don’t believe that we have a crucial role to play.

We are convinced at a early age that we don’t have anything to offer and then we go off and either accept that statement and don’t even try, or we try REALLY hard in work, education, or whatever you find a little success in and then that’s what we offer. And only that. Rarely do those that love us just get us.

Yesterday, I listened to many stories of God working in people’s lives. They were triumphant, inspirational, stories that made me, for awhile, remember that there are bigger things than my comfort going on here. A larger story that makes my heart swell when I catch glimpses of it. Stories that make me remember that I can trust God with my whole life and I don’t have to go anywhere else to find the life that my heart craves. I can actually lose the little life that I try to arrange for myself and lose my life in God.

Like a little kid. Running to God with no thought whatsoever that He might not catch me.

I hope you recognize those stories today as they come your way as God calling you to enjoy the life He has for you.

God Bless You Men
Alex

A River Runs Through It - the House, that is

My friends, Andy and Cheryl Matthews and their family had to make some radical adjustments last week.  As it was raining buckets early Monday afternoon and the schools were dismissing; so Andy began the rounds to pick up Cheryl; their son, Ben and their exchange student, Luke.  Everything was fine when Andy left the house.  Two and a half hours later they returned to see rescuers bringing out Andy’s mom, Alta, in a flat bottom boat.  Everything was ruined.

They spent a couple of days in a hotel and have now moved into the second story of Rick & Belinda Carpenter’s place.  They’ll move into an apartment in a few days.  It’ll probably be three or four months before they can move back home.

They seem to be doing remarkably well.  Cheryl feels the loss of Ben’s baby pictures and other scrapbooks, but for the most part they acknowledge that it could have been so much worse—like many others experienced in the tornadoes and floods last week.

One resource that the Matthews have benefited from is their abundance of friends.  They are immersed in Christian community.  They have been prayed for, housed, fed and generally loved on by those with whom they have served and worshiped for many years.  In a sense, their investment in the lives of others is paying off in very practical ways now in their time of need.

It occurred to me that this would be a good advertisement for community.  In community joys are multiplied and sorrows divided.   That’s the kind of math I want working in my life.

Eccl 4:9-12

9 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work: 
10 If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up! 
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone? 
12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Brian

Confession

1 John 1:8-10
If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.  If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.
 
James 5:16
…confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.
 
 
This morning in staff meeting we had one of those uncomfortable conversations.  We explored the importance of confession.  Specifically, the power of confessing sins to one another.  Most of us do not make a habit of talking about our sins.  Our tendency is to keep quiet about wrong attitudes and actions.  For me, it’s easier to talk about wrong things I did a long time ago—after all, that was then, this is now.  I am much more reluctant to reveal this morning’s anger, lust, rudeness, greed or pride. 
 
Also, when I am convicted about a sin I’d prefer to confess it just to God thank you very much.  But often that is just a cop out, a self-deceiving ruse to keep my sin secret.  That is why James says “confess your sins to each other….”  The sin that is unshared with a brother continues to thrive and it retains its hold on us.  But the sin that is brought into the light of God's truth and Christian community dies there. 

There is remarkable power in confessing our wrong deeds to another person.  Instead of destroying relationships, it tends to strengthen them.  Instead of ongoing shame and struggle we receive grace and a sense of forgiveness.  We experience a new power over the thing that has held us captive.
 
We sin.  Let’s not pretend we don’t.   Acknowledging your sin is the very thing that can make you lessof a sinner.
 
What sin do you need to share?

Brian

Wild Glory

Did you feel it? I was lying in bed awake (very unusual for me at 11pm). There was a big clap of thunder and the house shuddered. I thought it was unusual that it didn’t stop shuddering for about 10 seconds; then I realized that I had just experienced my first earthquake. It was only a 4.7 on the scale, but the earth had trembled. Things were pretty wild above ground as well. Rain coming down in sheets, wind screaming, thunder crashing, lightening firing up the sky…. I usually don’t get scared in bad weather, but I confess I don’t really have a taste for earthquakes and tornados all at once.

It made me think of a passage in Romans:

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedomof the children of God.

We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. -Romans 8:18-24

There is something glorious about an earthquake and a thunderstorm happening at the same time, but it is only creation groaning in anticipation for something even more glorious—us. When our bodies are redeemed in the resurrection and our glory is revealed we’ll make an earthquake in a thunder storm seem drab in comparison. I’m looking forward to it.

Brian

Feed the Good Dog

The Psalmist asked a good question—“How can a young man keep his way pure?” (Psalm 119:9). It’s a question I’ve been pondering quite a bit these days—especially in regard to men who struggle with pornography. I believe pornography is an issue that every man will deal with in one way or another. We’re living in a society where it is pushed at us from every direction. Many Christian guys are caught in a cycle of defeat. In times of isolation, or if they are physically and mentally worn down, or if they have experienced some let down in life, porn offers a quick and easy feel good experience. So they fall and then their conscience starts to beat up on them. They finally confess, receive prayer, accept God’s grace and are just fine—until next time. Too often, the man just gives up and accepts porn and impurity as a part of his life.

I was talking to my friend, Jim Holmes, about this situation the other day and I asked “how can a young man keep his way pure?” Jim’s response sounded odd at first. He said, “You have to feed the good dog.” Of course he’s talking about the “good dog” of the spirit vs. the “bad dog” of the flesh. As we explored what it means to “feed” these inner dogs we concluded that the bad dog is pretty low maintenance. He’ll thrive on whatever trash you toss out. The good dog, on the other hand, is a pure bred and has a special diet. He feeds and thrives on the word of God.

That is the answer the psalmist gives to his question—“How can a young man keep his way pure?—By living according to your word.”

Are you feeding the good dog or the bad dog? We have a tendency to feed both dogs. We toss little scraps of God’s word to the good dog, and truckloads of garbage to the bad dog. You can see how we get into trouble.

This is not just about controlling lust; the Lord wants us to gain victory over every contaminating influence. To do so we must become committed to starving the bad dog and feeding, nurturing and training the good dog. Let’s get crazy about the word and works of God.

Feed the good dog.

Brian